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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22912183">Getting Off the Carousel</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee'>Nadja_Lee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Let's Talk About Alec [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abused Alec Lightwood, Abused Jace Wayland, Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Magnus Bane, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Blackmail, Deal with a Devil, Episode: s02e01 This Guilty Blood, Good Parabatai Alec Lightwood, Honor, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Maryse Lightwood Being An Asshole, Mention of Maryse Lightwood/Valentine Morgenstern, Parabatai Bond, Powerful Magnus Bane, Prince of Hell Magnus Bane, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Protective Siblings, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice, Supportive Magnus Bane, The Clave is cruel, The Law is hard, Threats, Unsupportive Maryse Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:20:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22912183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The quick summary: Alec protects Jace and plan to save him while Magnus protects Alec and fight to save him.<br/>Longer summary: Takes place during episode 2x01 and deviates from canon from thereon. Maryse wants Alec to disown Jace after Jace has gone off with Valentine. Alec won't give up on his parabatai and with Magnus’ help, he leaves to stay with Magnus while vowing to find and save his parabatai. However, when Magnus talk to Maryse he discover that the culture in Idris means it is not as easy to save Alec as he had hoped.<br/>Part 4 of the Let's talk about Alec series which details child abuse and how to recover from it to find love and happiness.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood &amp; Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Let's Talk About Alec [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1059</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Getting Off the Carousel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herbeloved82/gifts">Herbeloved82</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dedicated to herbeloved82; happy birthday! Enjoy your gift!<br/>Story warnings: Referenced child abuse, referenced corporal punishment, referenced torture, referenced deal making, referenced sacrifice, threats of violence, threats of homelessness (very brief as it refers back to threats from part 3 in this series), mention of an affair between Maryse and Valentine, mention of child abuse conducted against Jace by Valentine, mention of abuse conducted against Alec by his parents, changes in the ages for Alec and Jace to be closer to the start of the book series than the start of the TV show (Alec is 19 and Jace is 17 in this).<br/>In short; the Shadow World is brutal, the Clave is cruel and the Law is hard!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Read the tags, the story notes and the summary. Still what you like? Then please continue and enjoy. Otherwise find something else to use your time on. Just because this story is not rated mature does not mean it is kid-friendly! It has several dark themes so be aware of that before you read it!</strong>
</p><p>Thanks so much to Regina Danica Villa Bibit for the amazing series banner.<br/></p><h1>Getting Off the Carousel</h1><p>Without Jace, Alec felt like he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. Jace might have chosen to go with Valentine who was now supposedly his father but Alec was certain he didn’t want to go; he was just confused.</p><p>The night before his wedding, he had finally cleared the air with Jace over the whole Clary situation and how he had reacted. Alec understood it now that he had found Magnus; he could understand how those beginning feelings could be overwhelming and could push everything aside. They had forgiven each other and moved on as brothers do.</p><p>No one understood his need to have Jace back; not really. It was about more than the parabatai bond; it was about his worry for his brother. As his parabatai, Alec felt a deep pain bordering on agony in his body and soul at the separation from him. However, his concern and anxiety at how Jace was doing, how he was feeling, overshadowed everything else.</p><p>If Valentine was the man who had raised Jace then he was the man who had broken his fingers and abused him and Alec had vowed the day the then 10-year-old Jace had arrived to stay with his family that he would always protect him. That he would never suffer again. That he would finally be free to be himself. He would not abandon Jace now; he would rescue him no matter what it took and even if he found Jace and Jace refused to go, he would then just drag him away from the toxicity of Valentine and tie him to a chair until he came to his senses and could see how horrible Valentine was! He would save Jace even if he didn’t want to be saved because damn it; he would not lose him! He couldn’t; he wouldn’t! It was not an option.</p><p>To make matters worse Magnus had been there. Supportive, kind….Magnus had just been trying to help and he had snapped at him, physically pushed his hand away. What was wrong with him? He had pushed him away until Magnus had walked out. Should he just let him go? Magnus hadn’t wanted to help him find Jace because it was dangerous to him; he worried for him. Maybe if he just talked to him…Magnus was still his best bet at helping Jace. No one else seemed to care. Everyone else had written him off as a traitor. If he stayed at the Institute any longer, he might just murder someone for even thinking something negative about Jace! Maybe if he hurried after Magnus he could catch up with him, if he had not already left and gone back to his own place.</p><p>Alec ran through the Institute and out onto the large lawn outside the church, hoping Magnus had chosen to walk instead of using a portal. He almost sighed in relief when he spotted Magnus just at the start of the lawn and reached him in a few quick strikes.</p><p>“Magnus! Magnus, please wait,” Alec begged, grabbing a hold of Magnus’ right sleeve, forcing him to stop and turn towards him.</p><p>Magnus’ cat eyes were glowing golden in anger when he turned to face him and Alec released him at once but stood his ground.</p><p>“You made your need for me and lack thereof quite clear, Alexander,” Magnus said coldly with a dangerous edge to his voice, making it clear he was done being taken for a fool. He was too old for that.</p><p>Alec heart sank and he ran a hand through his hair, fighting to find the words.</p><p>“I’m….I’m sorry, ok? It’s just that without Jace here…” Alec started to say, unsure what else to say, aware he had been a jerk and had hurt Magnus.</p><p>“You love him a lot?” Magnus asked, his voice softening a bit when he noticed the pain in Alec’s eyes and in every line of his face.</p><p>Alec even looked physically exhausted and agonized and seeing that made it hard for Magnus to keep being upset with him.</p><p>“He’s my parabatai,” Alec said as if that explained it and it did.</p><p>“What does that mean?” Magnus asked with a hint of annoyance that it was said as if everyone understood it but it was a Shadowhunter term and was not a normal concept for Downworlders.</p><p>Alec fought to explain it.</p><p>“He is the other half of my soul, literally. Without him here I am incomplete,” Alec clarified.</p><p>“Sounds….painful. You even look like you are in physical pain,” Magnus admitted with a hint of worry he could no longer hide as his anger started to fade as he saw the desperation and discomfort in Alec’s whole bearing.</p><p>“It is and in some ways I am,” Alec admitted in a soft tone, looking down for a moment, blushing a bit at admitting to this weakness, to being in pain. When he looked at Magnus again his expression was strong but apologetic.</p><p>“Look, I am so sorry I pushed you away. I never wanted that,” Alec said honestly.</p><p>“What do you want then?” Magnus asked more kindly, his glamour back in place as his anger started to fade.</p><p>“I’m new to all of this. I have never….” Alec began to explain and did a vague hand movement.</p><p>“Never what?” Magnus asked confused.</p><p>Never talked to someone he found interesting about personal things? Never had such a person offer help? Never apologized to such a person before? Could he be that innocent? The very thought made protective feelings surge through Magnus like electricity.</p><p>Alec shook his head and blushed in embarrassment.</p><p>“Never mind. My point is that I am not used to people offering to help and really meaning it, no strings attached,” Alec said matter of fact.</p><p>“I do wish to help you, Alexander,” Magnus said kindly as he laid a hand on his arm in support.</p><p>Alec was aware he had done this before, in the Institute and he had torn away. This time he smiled and squeezed the hand on his arm, giving him a warm look.</p><p>“I know. <strong>Now</strong>. I am not good with words nor with apologies,” Alec admitted as he gave him a shy and sheepish look.</p><p>“You are doing great, darling,” Magnus reassured him and calmed him with a warm smile that instantly made Alec seem to relax a bit and smile back.</p><p>Magnus saw her, Alec’s mother, as soon as she exited the church, walking purposely towards them. He stiffened which made Alec turn with a puzzled look to find out why and then he see her too. Magnus removed his hand from Alec’s arm when he felt him tense, recalling Maryse’s very negative reaction at the failed wedding.</p><p>“Alexander! Alexander! Where are you going?!” Maryse yelled sharply, now just a few meters from them.</p><p>Magnus looked at Alec to see what he wanted to do; it was his mother so he wouldn’t interfere unless Alec wanted him to….or the situation escalated completely out of hand.</p><p>“Wait here, please? I’ll be right back,” Alec begged him, putting a hand on his arm.</p><p>Magnus nodded, a bit reluctantly as he didn’t trust Maryse; immorality had its downsides. He remembered Maryse from the Uprising and he knew the cruelty she was capable off. After the events following Alec’s failed wedding he was not sure his hope that Alec had been spared that side of her, blood or no blood, held true.</p><p>“Ok,” Magnus agreed and Alec smiled in gratitude and nodded.</p><p>Magnus could see Alec was tense and worried as he turned and met Maryse before she reached them. They stopped there, maybe a few meters from Magnus. He stayed where he was, keeping a keen eye on the situation and obviously well within hearing range. He pointedly stared Maryse down, his expression blank and his eyes like ice, making it clear to her he was not conceding an inch to her; not here, not now and not ever.</p><p>“Mother, what is it?” Alec asked as he reached her, letting a hint of annoyance touch his words as he recalled his earlier talk with her where she had insisted Jace should just be forgotten and hadn’t defended him as he had been labelled a traitor. How dare she even suggest that of his brother and Parabatai?!</p><p>“Where are you going?” Maryse demanded to know, her voice sharp, catching Magnus’ eye. “To him?”</p><p>Alec nodded, his expression becoming guarded.</p><p>“Yes, mother, to Magnus. It was part of our deal, remember?” he reminded her stiffly, standing at attention, his hands behind his back.</p><p>“As long as you stay away from Jace,” she agreed, her tone firm.</p><p>Alec shook his head.</p><p>“I can’t do that. He’s my parabatai,” Alec protested.</p><p>“Alec, we looked like fools taking in Valentine’s son, caring for him like our own,” Maryse insisted, her voice filled with regret and self-loathing at recalling the past.</p><p>“It was the right thing to do,” Alec insisted stubbornly.</p><p>Maryse shook her head.</p><p>“It was a mistake. It put our family in danger. You need to forget Jace. He made his choice,” she said coldly, her voice leaving no room for argument.</p><p>“Do you even hear what you’re saying? If you kill him, you kill a part of me,” Alec warned, giving her a disbelieving look.</p><p>Despite everything that had happened between his mother and him then he couldn’t believe his own mother would purposely put his life in danger like that; by cutting the parabatai bond. It was survivable but if broken in a manner like this none of them would ever be the same again.</p><p>“When you have a cancer, you cut it out before it destroys you. Son… Life is full of hard choices,” she said darkly, coldly, her face closed and emotionless, her voice determined and strong.</p><p>“That is all Jace is to you now then? A hard choice? The son you praised and glorified and now, suddenly when he is supposedly Valentine’s son he is just pushed aside?” Alec asked angrily.</p><p>While he had never dared defy her for himself, he would not fail Jace. Jace deserved better from her than this.</p><p>“Don’t start with that tone,” she warned and waved a finger threatening in his face, her eyes narrowing in displeasure.</p><p>Alec fought down his fear and insecurity, his love and concern for Jace stronger than his fear for himself, stronger than his fear of punishments and pain.</p><p>“No, you know what? No. I am <strong>not</strong> giving up on Jace,” he said strongly, defiantly, his eyes like steel.</p><p>She looked at him in shock and disbelief. He had never talked back before; he had never defied her before. He had always done what he had been told. He had always been good and obedient like that; he had followed the rules.</p><p>“You will do as I say,” she cautioned, her tone making it clear he should back off now or face the consequences.</p><p>Her tone made Alec start to sweat with fear in remembrance of past punishments but he still shook his head stubbornly; he would never abandon Jace no matter what it might cost him.</p><p>“No. Not on this. Not any longer,” he said softly but with certainty, his anger on Jace’s behalf and his worry and love for him pushing his fear aside. He would not fail Jace.</p><p>“How dare you?” Maryse asked enraged and raised her hand at him.</p><p>Magnus’ magic lit up and he was ready to act but didn’t have to; Alec caught her wrist before she could hit his cheek. They froze like that for a few seconds as if they were both equally shocked it had happened. She tore her wrist free and her eyes shot daggers at him.</p><p>“He is my parabatai and my brother and I <strong>will</strong> get him back,” Alec said strongly, the many emotions he was feeling – worry, fear, love, anxiety, pain, determination - making his hands shake ever so slightly.</p><p>“You think the Clave will allow that? He is a traitor!” Maryse protested, looking at him as if he had gone crazy.</p><p>“You taught me, Mother…there is always a price to pay,” Alec reminded her darkly, calmly, having already thought about this.</p><p>“What do you mean?” she asked confused.</p><p>“I mean for the right price he can come back. We both know Jace is too great a warrior for the Clave to just give up on him,” Alec said with certainty.</p><p>“Even if you get him back and I say if, he will no longer be welcome in this family,” Maryse warned him.</p><p>“He will always be welcome with me,” Alec said strongly, his lips set in a stubborn line.</p><p>“And where would that be? As we talked about earlier living outside the Institute requires something called money which you have none off and barely any concept of either,” Maryse asked coldly, her voice condescending and mocking.</p><p>Alec hesitated, unsure what to say, remembering her threat to throw him on the streets. For the first time he hesitated; he couldn’t abandon Jace but he had nowhere else to go.</p><p>Suddenly Magnus was beside him and put a supporting hand on the small of his back, smiling kindly to him.</p><p>“With me, Maryse, if Alexander so chooses. And believe me; I have both an understanding of money and more than plenty of it to last several lifetimes in extreme luxury for me <strong>and</strong> a small army; the benefits of a proper investment portfolio going back to before Columbus landed in America,” Magnus said strongly, on purpose being as arrogant yet truthful as possible, giving her a look that warned her not to forget who he was and just how powerful he truly was.</p><p>“You will live with the Warlock?” Maryse asked with astonishment and disbelief in her voice, looking from Magnus to her son.</p><p>Alec gave Magnus a grateful smile before he turned back to face his mother, strengthened and comforted by Magnus’ nearness.</p><p>“If he will have me and Jace then yes,” Alec said resolutely but he cast Magnus a worried and questioning look.</p><p>“Of course your brother can come too,” Magnus reassured Alec with a warm smile, having already guessed that being there for Alec would require being there for those he cared for too.</p><p>“You are meddling in things that are none of your concern, Warlock,” Maryse warned angrily.</p><p>“I am making them my concern,” Magnus said darkly, matter of fact.</p><p>Maryse did a dismissive hand gesture in Magnus’ general direction before looking at Alec again.</p><p>“Alexander, you will stop this nonsense at once!” she insisted, using her strongest and most authoritative voice that normally always worked on him.</p><p>Alec fought down his fear and the insecurity hearing that tone brought him, reassured by Magnus’ hand on his back and his need and desire to save Jace.</p><p>“No, mother. I won’t. I will get my brother back and I will see him safe with Magnus and me,” Alec insisted strongly.</p><p>“The Clave will want him jailed and imprisoned,” Maryse cautioned.</p><p>“I will talk to them and find an arrangement,” Alec said in a final voice and started to walk away, needing to get away before it all became too much for him.</p><p>Magnus followed him, effectively now standing between Maryse and Alec.</p><p>“Alec! Don’t you dare walk away from me!” Maryse yelled furiously.</p><p>Alec turned to face her, a hint of fear in his eyes at her tone, but his expression was strong yet also a bit sad. However, he wasn’t giving in. He would never abandon Jace.</p><p>“Unlike you, I don’t push someone away just cause they’re a hard choice. Jace is family,” he said firmly, the need to protect Jace, to save him, driving away his fear for himself.</p><p>“Alexander, give me a few minutes with your mother, please? Then I will come,” Magnus asked softly, moving his arm from his back and instead squeezed his arm reassuringly.</p><p>Alec looked from Maryse to Magnus before he nodded.</p><p>“Ok,” Alec agreed, a bit hesitantly and cautiously but trusting Magnus to hold his own. He gave Magnus’ hand on his arm a warm squeeze back.</p><p>Magnus smiled encouraging at him before he let go of him. Alec walked a bit further away from the church before he turned and looked at Magnus and his mother with a slightly worried and curious expression, standing just far enough away from them that only the loudest words should reach him.</p><p>“I will fight you on this, Warlock. You can’t take my children!” Maryse hissed as soon as Magnus turned back to face her.</p><p>“How old are Alexander and Jace?” Magnus asked, mildly curious as he knew for a fact Alec was certainly no longer a child but he was not very old either. Likely a reason for the fascinating mixture of innocence and power, youthful emotions and adult responsibilities, insecurities and quiet strength that Alec wore around himself like a cloak.</p><p>“Alec is 19 and Jace is 17,” Maryse responded instinctively, telling the truth.</p><p>“As I recall under Shadowhunter law you are not considered a child after the first rune and the first battle so they have been adults since they were what….12?” Magnus reminded her. “Besides, I find it interesting that they are children when it is convenient to you and adults when it is not.”</p><p>“We both know Alexander is different. He is…sensitive,” Maryse explained, trying to find the word to properly explain the mixture of strength and softness that was her oldest child.</p><p>Given a few more years she would teach him properly how to be strong; he had it in him to be powerful, ruthless. A perfect Shadowhunter leader. She could get him there with a little more training.</p><p>“Yes, we do but legally you can’t come after any of them and if you even consider taking this out on Isabelle or the younger brother I understand Alexander has, I will find you and I <strong>will</strong> end you!” Magnus warned, his Warlock Mark becoming visible for a moment as his anger flared at the woman he had seen try to hurt Alec.</p><p>Maryse gave him a piercing look and it suddenly dawned on her why he was so familiar.</p><p>“I recognize you now, Prince of Hell, from the Uprising,” she said slowly, a new sense of wariness in her tone.</p><p>“I recognize you too; you were Valentine’s second in command, his most trusted commander and likely his lover too,” Magnus said frankly with clear distaste in his tone as his eyes roamed up and down her body as if judging her and finding her lacking.</p><p>“Then you know not to cross me,” Maryse warned, ignoring his accusation of infidelity.</p><p>Magnus ignored her threat just as easily as she had ignored his accusation, finding it of no consequence.</p><p>“Tell me, Maryse, what are the odds that it is not Jace but Alexander who is truly Valentine’s son?” Magnus said slowly, quietly so Alec would not hear, scanning her face as he spoke. “Is that why you are reacting so violently to this?”</p><p>“How dare you even imply that?!” Maryse got out, enraged.</p><p>Magnus gave her a dark smile.</p><p>“Because it is a much more likely scenario than Jocelyn leaving a baby in the hands of her crazy husband, forgetting about said baby for years, Valentine raising Jace till he is 10 using a glamour no one sees through in all of that time, Jace then coming to live with you and <strong>then</strong> Valentine coming back and revealing to everyone that by the way, I am father to both Clarissa and Jace. And let’s not forget that Shadowhunters refuse blood tests or other parental tests so all that will be needed to cast doubt on Alexander’s true parentage, the child you conceived and gave birth to during your time with the Circle, is that word of your alleged affair reaches the highest levels of government in Idris,” Magnus said sarcastically.</p><p>“Why is Alec then more likely to be his?” Maryse demanded to know.</p><p>“Because the whole Shadow World knew of the affair you had with Valentine. I bet only your husband didn’t know,” Magnus reminded her and her blush made it clear no matter who was Alec’s father then she had certainty been having an affair with Valentine.</p><p>“You would not dare say anything,” Maryse warned but there was a hint of fear in her eyes. Idris loved gossip and they would love gossip like this. It could ruin her if anyone believed Alec was indeed Valentine’s child.</p><p>“Oh, I dare but for Alexander’s sake I won’t if you back off,” Magnus warned.</p><p>Maryse hesitated.</p><p>“You wouldn’t! What about Alec if you spread such a rumor?” Maryse tried, seeing if he would waver.</p><p>“Alexander survived your secret about being in the Circle. He loves Jace the same even believing he is the son of Valentine. I have no doubt he could survive thinking he is or could be the son of Valentine. He is not like you, Maryse, he knows blood does not define anyone – Shadowhunter or Downworlder alike,” Magnus said strongly, his eyes narrowing in disgust at her narrow-mindedness.</p><p>Maryse looked at him and could see his mind was made up; he would spread such a story if she didn’t give in. So she did.</p><p>“Alec will have to come back to the Institute and continue his duties,” she reminded him, her voice calmer and matter of fact, taking her defeat as gracefully as she could.</p><p>Magnus nodded, a small smile at his victory around his lips.</p><p>“And he will; when Jace is back,” Magnus readily agreed, having never had any intensions of kidnapping the boy; merely protecting him and seeing him safe.</p><p>“And soon as Jace is back he will go into custody,” Maryse reminded him with unwavering certainty. She knew the Clave and she knew they were merciless.</p><p>“No. That would break Alexander. You can see how he is suffering now,” Magnus said strongly, his voice leaving no room for argument. That was unacceptable.</p><p>“Someone has to pay for Jace’s betrayal and if it is not him there is only one other person who it can be,” Maryse said matter of fact and she nodded towards Alec standing in the distance, his arms crossed over his chest in an age-old gesture of self-protection.</p><p>Magnus paled and shook his head.</p><p>“No,” Magnus denied.</p><p>“Alexander will offer it, you know he will,” Maryse reminded him and Magnus knew she was right; Alec would offer himself to save Jace in any and all ways he could because that was just who he was.</p><p>“Alexander is done being your whipping boy,” Magnus denied, trying to think of a solution.</p><p>“That was his choice,” Maryse explained, not unkindly.</p><p>Magnus’ eyes narrowed dangerously.</p><p>“So you admit it? That you have hurt him?” Magnus demanded to know, anger bubbling just below the surface.</p><p>“Robert and I did what was necessary,” Maryse insisted.</p><p>“You abused him!” Magnus accused hotly.</p><p>Maryse shook her head stubbornly.</p><p>“We raised him to be strong! He made the offer to protect his siblings freely and willingly and I was never more proud of him; he took responsibility as a Lightwood should and faced the consequences unflinchingly,” Maryse said with pride and strength in her tone.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Magnus demanded to know, his eyes narrowing, worry and concern clear in his tone.</p><p>“He saw how confused and hurt Jace was when he came to us when he was ten years old. Alec felt he would not do well living within the confines of a traditional Shadowhunter upbringing after what he had dealt with. Alec felt Jace would need to be spared and protected so he could grow and become the great warrior and confident young man he is today. So Alec offered as the oldest to take any punishment that was needed for Jace and his siblings,” Maryse explained matter of fact.</p><p>“He has a good heart,” Magnus admitted, pain at what Alec had endured clear in his voice. “I assume Jace and his sister don’t know about this deal?”</p><p>Maryse shook her head.</p><p>“It was Alec’s wish they didn’t know. He wanted them to be free and not worry about the consequences of their actions so they could truly choose freely,” Maryse told him, pride at her oldest son’s decision evident in her tone.</p><p>“He sold his childhood in the hopes they would have one,” Magnus concluded grimly.</p><p>“Well, I think Jace likely suffered with what we now all know to be Valentine as a father till he was ten years old,” Maryse admitted and for the first time a hint of feelings for Jace flashed over her face.</p><p>“And then you ensured Alec did too,” Magnus reminded her darkly.</p><p>“Nothing which was not warranted,” Maryse assured him.</p><p>“I bet Valentine would say the same regarding the punishments he gave Jace,” Magnus interjected.</p><p>“Alec was only punished when he or the others failed or did wrong. Corporal punishment for failure is normal among Shadowhunters and in Idris in general. When his father and I became leaders of the institute we made sure to tell him plainly, which punishments were on behalf of the Clave, as official business, and which was as a part of our family. Alec chose to take both for Jace and his siblings,” Maryse explained.</p><p>Magnus was torn between sympathy and pride for Alec’s decision.</p><p>“Of course he would,” Magnus admitted. “Which is of course also why you lost him now, over Jace.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Maryse asked confused.</p><p>“He suffered all this for Jace and his siblings. He did this for them. Forcing him to choose between them and you….of course he would choose them; he always chose them,” Magnus reminded her.</p><p>Maryse reflected on that and reluctantly had to admit he was right.</p><p>“This practice doesn’t surprise you?” Maryse asked, noticing his lack of surprise at their conversation.</p><p>“I am hundreds of years old; it is not a novel concept that the oldest pay for the mistakes of the younger ones nor that one person in a family is chosen as the whipping boy; to be punished collectively for the shame brought upon the family,” Magnus said matter of fact, recalling several instances in his long life where he had encountered just that, several Mundane cultures having incorporated this concept as well.</p><p>Maryse nodded.</p><p>“Then you understand,” she concluded.</p><p>Magnus’ eyes flared with anger and he shook his head in denial.</p><p>“I said I know the practice; not that I approve. Your husband and you will never again lift a hand against Alexander. If you do you will have to deal with me!” Magnus warned dangerously.</p><p>Maryse gave him an angry look at being told how to raise her own child.</p><p>“Even if I did agree to that then even I can’t control the Clave. They are owed for the shame upon our name, upon all of Idris, for his failed wedding and now for Jace’s betrayal as well. How do you propose to resolve that?” Maryse asked him darkly.</p><p>“I don’t assume they want money?” Magnus asked hopefully, knowing that was obviously unlikely as this was clearly considered a matter of honor and such matters were never settled with money but almost always with pain or humiliation; often both.</p><p>She shook her head, her expression grim as she said what he knew she would say, “No.”</p><p>“Magical services?” Magnus tried with a hint of beginning desperation.</p><p>“No,” she denied.</p><p>“A pound of flesh from me then?” Magnus tried, letting some of his desperation shine through, willing to take the corporal punishment if he would spare Alec.</p><p>Maryse gave him a surprised look at his offer.</p><p>“You would do that?” she asked, disbelief clear in her tone.</p><p>Magnus nodded, annoyed at her surprise.</p><p>“To spare Alexander? Of course,” Magnus said crisply.</p><p>Maryse was silent for a moment, trying to process this new information regarding Magnus’ willingness to suffer for her son and trying to make that fit into her view on Magnus and Downworlders as untrustworthy and selfish beings ruled only by their most basic desires. She filed it away for later when Magnus’ actions were too contradictory with her negative views on him and Downworlders in general and shook her head.</p><p>“No. It has to be a Shadowhunter who makes this offer of penance and it has to be someone related, someone connected to the Lightwood name,” Maryse informed him, confirming what Magnus had already guessed.</p><p>“Well, I don’t assume you feel overcome by motherly affection and will offer yourself?” Magnus said sarcastically.</p><p>“Alexander will offer himself. You know that,” Maryse told him, ignoring his question.</p><p>“And if no one pays?” Magnus tried.</p><p>“We would all be de-runed; the whole family,” Maryse said grimly.</p><p>Magnus shook his head in shock.</p><p>“And you people say that Downworlders are brutal,” Magnus said darkly.</p><p>“Indeed,” she agreed grimly, nodding slightly.</p><p>Magnus was thoughtful for a while, trying to find a solution but came up with nothing useful. Being a Shadowhunter was who Alec was just as he himself needed his magic to be who he was. There were a limited number of people who could pay for those two perceived offences; Maryse and Robert who would not offer it he was sure, the youngest child who was too young and then Isabelle, Jace and Alec. While objectively all three of them could make the penance Magnus also knew Maryse was right; Alec would offer first and he would fight tooth and nail to ensure he did this to spare his sister and Jace. Magnus could try and force the situation by throwing Jace or Isabelle under the bus but that would effectively make him lose Alec. At the end of the day, Magnus had one choice and one choice only; to support Alec. Moving forward though he would insist Alec honestly explained the deal he had made so that his siblings understood the price Alec would pay for their misdeeds; he was certain if they knew they would not have done any of the things they had done that had meant punishment for Alec.</p><p>“If, and I mean if, I can’t talk him out of it and it has to happen, then I will only allow this atrocity to continue if the outcome is guaranteed. The Clave would have to promise Jace is released without consequences of any kind and I want to be allowed to heal him magically as soon as any official aspects relating to the penance is over,” Magnus said slowly, darkly, hating the Clave and all of Idris for their idiotic and cruel rules more than he had ever thought possible in his life.</p><p>“That can be arranged,” Maryse agreed slowly after having thought it over.</p><p>“And I want to be there,” Magnus added strongly.</p><p>Though he hated the idea of Alec suffering for any reason he hated the idea of him suffering alone, without him there, even more.</p><p>Maryse frowned.</p><p>“You are a Downworlder. Such public atonements are only witnessed by Shadowhunters,” Maryse insisted.</p><p>“I am sure I have seen enough blood in my days to qualify as a witness to something like what we are talking about here,” Magnus insisted, a hint of darkness and sarcasm in his voice.</p><p>“Would you? Truly? Be able to witness him beaten? Broken like that?” Maryse demanded to know, making sure he knew what he was insisting to bear witness to.</p><p>Magnus paled and visibly recoiled at the mere images her words brought to his mind.</p><p>“Is that what is on the table here?” Magnus asked shortly, fighting to keep his emotions under control.</p><p>“For the wedding it is the agony rune, both the physical and mental component of it. I don’t know about Jace ‘s betrayal; what price the Clave would set for that. That is out of my hands,” Maryse admitted.</p><p>“The agony rune?” Magnus inquired, not liking the sound of that one bit.</p><p>“The rune was designed for punishment. It is the easiest and simplest way to carry out penance,” Maryse explained.</p><p>Magnus shook his head in disbelief and terror at hearing that.</p><p>“You people designed a rune just for inflicting agony. And you people call us Downworlders monsters!” Magnus said hotly.</p><p>“It is how it has always been,” Maryse said matter of fact.</p><p>Magnus’ eyes narrowed in annoyance at her acceptance of things.</p><p>“Many things used to be a certain way. Doesn’t mean it has to stay that way,” Magnus reminded her grimly.</p><p>“I was trying to make him strong; a leader. Ensure he would survive,” Maryse insisted strongly.</p><p>“I believe you thought that you were doing the right thing but you will never get any sympathy from me,” Magnus said coldly.</p><p>“How will you find Jace? If you use the stone as Alec wants it could kill him,” Maryse warned, casting a worried look at Alec.</p><p>“I know but if that is what he wants then I realize now I have to do it. Alexander has had enough people telling him what to do. From here on out he will not hear it from me. I will advise him if asked but I will support his decisions and see them through,” Magnus said with determination and strength, hiding away his fear and pain for Alec’s safety to the back of his mind.</p><p>“And if he takes the Cave’s punishment for Jace’s betrayal, you would support that decision too?” Maryse challenged.</p><p>Magnus eyes flashed with pain but he nodded all the same.</p><p>“Yes,” he said, forcing the word out.</p><p>Maryse looked at him with admiration for the first time, seeing the power and strength in him.</p><p>“I can see now why Valentine always feared you,” Maryse admitted.</p><p>“He didn’t fear me enough and you should better remember that. The only reason I am not killing you and your husband for what you have done to Alexander is that it would hurt <strong>him</strong>. Believe me; I would be completely fine with killing you both with my bare hands!” Magnus warned dangerously, his cat eyes flaring golden in rage.</p><p>“Robert and I didn’t do anything other Shadowhunter parents don’t do. How else do you think we get such perfect warriors at 12 or younger? It is not like our children have any less desire for play and fun than Mundane children,” Maryse defended herself.</p><p>“I know and that is why I am often left to wonder how come we, the demon blooded, are those who you people say have fallen from Grace when as far as I can tell you people, Shadowhunters, are more bloodthirsty, cruel, merciless and bigoted than any Downworlder I have ever met,” Magnus said coldly.</p><p>Magnus turned away from her, forcing himself to try and calm down before he did something he really should not be doing to someone who, after all, was still Alec’s mother. He forced a smile on his face as he came closer to Alec.</p><p>“Magnus Bane,” Maryse yelled after him.</p><p>“Yes?” He said with a raised eyebrow, stopping and turning slightly towards her.</p><p>Maryse had a rare vulnerable look on her face as she asked softly, “Take care of him. Of them both.”</p><p>Magnus nodded grimly as he said with strength and certainty, a promise clear in his words, “Better than you ever did.”</p><p>Magnus left it at that and turned back, walking up to Alec. When he reached him his anger at Maryse had cooled and his smile was genuine.</p><p>“You ok?” Alec asked worried, looking over his shoulder to see his mother go back inside the Institute.</p><p>Magnus smiled reassuringly at him.</p><p>“Yes, darling. Let’s go home and then let’s save your parabatai,” Magnus said strongly, determined.</p><p>“You will help me save him?” Alec asked joyfully, hopeful.</p><p>Magnus nodded and touched his arm in support.</p><p>“Yes, of course, darling,” he promised heartfelt.</p><p>“Thank you so much and thank you for letting us stay with you,” Alec said happily, smiling shyly.</p><p>“Anytime, darling, anything,” Magnus said softly, fondly.</p><p>Magnus did a hand movement and created a portal to his loft and they both stepped through, determined and ready to start a new chapter of their lives, together. First order of business though; getting Jace back!</p><p>The End</p><p>- Plans are that this continues in part 5 of "Let's Talk About Alec"....</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed this story and would like to see more in this series then I would love to hear from you; comments and kudos means a lot to me and is very motivating. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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